Ten years ago, a former colleague, who was 35 at the time, asked me if I thought she was too old to wear shorts—not short shorts, just shorts that hit mid-thigh. I was taken aback by the question. At the time, I was 30, and it had never once occurred to me that shorts or anything above the knee were reserved for a certain age group. I remember answering, “Girl, please, you can wear whatever the hell you want.”

I was also shocked that my colleague, at just 35, thought she was somehow “too old” to wear certain clothes. In an age where social media is king, older women are often shamed for daring to wear anything form-fitting or revealing. Anything that shows skin or shape is met with criticism. I’ve come across countless Instagram videos of women over 50 who are fit, vibrant, and full of life, only to face negative comments about their “age-inappropriate” outfits. “She’s too old for this,” some say. “She’s trying too hard.” Or worse: “She should cover up.”

“She’s too old for this,” some say. “She’s trying too hard.” Or worse: “She should cover up.”

At the time, I was 30, and now, having recently turned 40, I’ve reflected on that question. I’m happy to say that my answer has remained the same. Sure, some styles might make someone appear more juvenile, while others can give a more matronly appearance—but those aren’t the same as asking whether something is “appropriate” for a woman over 35 to wear.

The truth is, personal style doesn’t have an age.

I know many women might be asking themselves the same question my colleague did: “Am I too old for this?” But I’m here to tell you: get rid of that outdated concept. Here’s why:

First, this question assumes that as women age, we become less desirable and must cover up. It also suggests that as we get older, our preferences and personal style no longer matter—that we need to “bow out gracefully” and accept that we’re no longer in the “prime” of life. I use the word “desirable” because the question seems to imply that women dress for male attention, not their own pleasure. If that weren’t the case, the question would be obvious: “Of course, you can wear what you want—no matter your age.” As we age, the key is to stop caring about convention and societal pressure. The older we get, the more we should embrace freedom in self-expression.

Second, when the question or criticism comes from another woman—or from yourself—it’s often someone who has given up on their personal style, possibly due to years of prioritizing others or struggling with body image. That person might be wearing shapeless, drab clothing because they’ve never fully embraced or appreciated their changing body. In that case, we need to encourage body positivity and self-care, helping them reconnect with their own sense of style and self-love.

Third, criticism often comes from hyper-critical people who find joy in putting others down—like social media commenters. In this case, we wish them well and maybe even give them the number of a therapist.
Fourth, if the criticism comes from a man—well, does it really matter what he thinks about what you wear?

After all, no one’s telling Beyoncé to dress like Sister Mary Clarence (from Sister Act). If there are any who do, their opinions don’t deserve a platform. They should keep those thoughts to themselves.

So, to answer the question posed: What does it mean to dress your age, exactly? Here are a few answers:

1. Wear what’s context-appropriate. This applies to everyone, regardless of age. Know where you’re going and what the dress code is.
2. Wear what makes you feel good.
3. Wear what you think looks good on you. This one might be a bit controversial, especially since people often have strong opinions on what looks good—especially for plus-sized individuals. But there’s power in wearing what makes you feel confident. Forget what anyone else thinks.
4. Wear what you love.
5. Wear what’s yours. Make it your own, whether it’s through accessories, style tweaks, or just owning the look.
6. Wear whatever the hell you want.

Sound off below. Have you changed the way you dress as you’ve gotten older? If yes, what prompted that change?
• Was it due to evolving taste, self-consciousness, or societal expectations?
• What does “dressing your age” mean to you?

Feel free to add anything I may have missed.